UC decision

I have 48 hours of time ticking in between a decision that will affect the pace, pockets, and placement during the so forth beginnings of my adulthood life. When you have golden opportunities handed to you with worries discarded so access is made easy, don't take advantage of this, run whole-hearted with your golden ticket strapped to your waistband. I must not have maintained enough self-discipline or my head must have been so far down the gutter that I didn't see the broad road painted above me. I now believe that admitting my faults becomes the first step towards clarity by means of recognition. One cannot clean an object without first submitting time and identifying its particles. The motive behind one's need to fix or clean something stems from a belief in order, respect, and presentation. When someone who desires to keep things "clean" but spends the majority of their time messing up their surroundings will see chaos begin unwinding. This happened to me, this may continue to happen if I don't change my habits. In order to change, fix, or clean I need to recognize the root of the problem as Valery put it to me. In the back of mind I knew I was wrong, caught up in impulse, agreeing to temporary satisfaction, and breeding a careless mentality. I began to drift farther down until finally I reached the ground, fell hard, and watched my senses return from up high. My head brought out of the clouds, the birds seemed to cease their singing, and I let my better side beat responsibility in me repeatedly. For weeks now, I'm still serious, more serious then ever I think it's been time for me to focus on my life, devoting myself consistantly, building character, and finding pleasure in things other than my daily wanderings. In 48 hours, the Advising Committee will decide whether or not I can stay at UC Santa Cruz. I ask the Good Lord to have mercy on me, grant me passage, compassion, and grace. I know I took advantage of such a blessed position in which school for me is made easy financially. I sincerely want to change things and I plan to challenge myself a lot more than I ever have. Committee, yo, please accept my appeal letter...